It has been exactly two years today that the gates of hell opened up and I was thrown in by the will of someone else. Alas, it is time to go. My house is refinanced, all my debts are paid, I have enough money in the bank to start over and well this was his plan all along...to use me to buy the house and then boot me out and have her move in. It is astonishing to me that she was willing to wait this long. It's even more astonishing he didn't come up with a better plan. But now that the love is gone so is the blindness. He couldn't have done it without me. He's ignorant. The guy can't even balance a check book. The crazy thing is he now hates her because she told me everything and she hates him because everyday for the rest of her life she'll be scared to death of me. The details of this ongoing affair are nauseating. The actions he took to do what he did were psychopathic. What's even crazier is that everyone knew. I should call myself a fool, but I wont. I was trusting. Isn't that the right thing to do in a relationship? Trust and love unconditionally. He was the fool for taking advantage of my trust. My trust is gone and I hate him. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust anyone ever again. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to love anyone again for that matter. As for all these people that knew. I now know none of them were my friends. How could I have been so confused to think they were. They let me buy this house with a psychopath knowing that just across the street two houses down was his secret. I'm reminded everyday that I look/walk outside of my home...the place I'm suppose to be safe and able to take refuge. He can stay and be haunted by the memories of his self-inflicting demise. Time to find a new safe refuge.
